Just make it a good one.

lilislegacy:

don’t ever tell me that percy jackson doesn’t know exactly what he’s talking about

(via roonil-wazlib-in-the-tardis)

wanderintofics:

Bruce’s co-workers on the justice league ask, half-jokingly, why he won’t go to therapy and he very seriously informs them his first therapist hypnotized and stole money from his clients and tried to do the same to Bruce and THEN years later he found out that same guy started mutating his patients into monster men so that he could do more crimes and while he doubted something like that would happen twice he doesn’t feel like risking it and his coworkers just stared at him in dumb silence for a while

Clark asks him later if he was joking and he wasn’t and this is why no one can tell when Bruce is making shit up or not

gffa:

LMAO someone give Dick Grayson a medal for understanding that when Bruce stalks you and asks to take your blood, it’s his way of showing he loves his kid.

who-always-pays-their-taxes:

“Bruce Wayne is actually a really good father and all his children are just like that” is actually my favorite flavor of batfam

anna-neko:

shu-of-the-wind:

aqueerkettleofish:

artistefish:

chimthecappy:

dark-wizard-guy-fieri:

shubbabang:

context (via @mellorocket)

doubly funny that I saw a compilation of all the corporate accounts like “aw thanks elmo, we’re doing well” meanwhile all the flesh and blood real human people are extremely not okay

Okay but Elmo had actually the best and sweetest response to all this trauma dumping:

And then all the other Sesame Street character accounts joined in:

And now I’m thinking maybe we’re gonna be okay… 💗

(Comment compilation from this Twitter)

I kinda feel for the poor person running Elmo’s Twitter.

“So, boss… I may have messed up.”

“What did you do, Ray?”

“Well, I made a post for Elmo saying ‘Hi, how’s everybody doing?’”

“I mean, that’s kind of what we pay you for.”

“Yeah, but…. <sigh> it turns out pretty much everyone is hanging on by a thread, badly enough that they needed to tell Elmo.”

“Oh.”

“God help me, boss, I think Elmo needs to be there for them.”

“Get the others.”

this is the energy that jim henson would be proud of.

and important addition

Source: instagram

(via belovedcreation)

hyperblue:

one thing that will always be funny to me about batfam is that jason is forever convinced that dick is bruce’s favorite child while all of his siblings know for sure that bruce’s favorite child is actually jason

some random reporter: who’s your favorite child?

bruce: how DARE YOU imply that i play favorites, i love ALL of my children equally

dick, without missing a bit: oh he absolutely plays favorites, it was jason

tim: rest in peace

punkiebuttons:

Jason: You can trust me! Let’s not forget who pulled you out of that river when you were 14.

Tim: let’s not forget who pushed me in

justanothrmarriedbatcatheadcanon:

justanothrmarriedbatcatheadcanon:

justanothrmarriedbatcatheadcanon:

Actual convos with the Batfam #4:

Dick @ Bruce and Selina: I can’t believe you two would carry on like that with children in the house.

Damian: For the last time, Grayson, I am not a–

Dick: ME! I’m the child!!!

Jason: *under his breath* Out of all of us, how does he end up the one that needs the most therapy?

Tim: *also under his breath* I hear the oldest kid always has it the worst.

Babs: Which to do you think is more traumatic? Watching you parents plummet to their deaths or catching your parents doing the do.

Tim: Second one.

Jason: Yep.

Damian: What is wrong with you? Clearly losing a parent would be more traumatic.

Jason: You’re cute, kid.

Tim: And as your older brothers, we’ll do our best to make sure that stays your opinion.

Damian: -tt-

(via justanothrmarriedbatcatheadcanon)

justanothrmarriedbatcatheadcanon:

Just another married!BatCat headcanon #36:

Random villain: *crashes super fancy party that Bruce and Selina are attending*

Bruce: We need to stop them.

Selina: Correction, I need to stop them. You need to be the opposite of Batman.

Bruce: …

Selina: I don’t like that look in your eye…

Bruce: *fake terrified* Oh no, whatever shall we do???

Selina: No….

Bruce: *stumbles into random villain*

Selina: *facepalm*

Bruce: Catwoman, save me!

Selina: *grumbling* Remind me again why I married your dramatic ass.

justanothrmarriedbatcatheadcanon:

justanothrmarriedbatcatheadcanon:

Just another married!BatCat headcanon #39:

Selina: *in the trophy room* Is that a picture of Penguin?

Bruce: *on the computer* I don’t know, Selina, is it?

Selina: In a nightgown?

Bruce: Oh, that picture of Penguin.

Selina: Stealing a TV???

Bruce: Remember the dude that used bedbugs?

Selina: *stares*

Selina: You have given me a new level of petty to aspire to.

Bruce: *smiling to himself*

Bruce: Why are you looking at me like that?

Selina: I’m just very proud of you, that’s all.

incorrectbatfam:

Bruce: First impressions are very important.

Jason: Yet you adopted me anyway.

thegladelf:

Therapist: *holds up a picture of Tim Drake*

Me: My child.

Therapist: *holds up a picture of Damien Wayne*

Me: My problem child.

Therapist: *holds up a picture of Jason Todd*

Me: My other problem child.

Therapist: *holds up a picture of Dick Grayson*

Me: My husband.

Therapist: …

Therapist: But what about… *holds up a picture of Bruce Wayne*

Me: My biggest problem child

stereomike:

juniper-sunny:

(via thegladelf)

Lol. My friend was talking about how they don’t like a lot of people and “must be the autism” and I just shook my head and was like, “Bro, I’m pretty you’d be like that with or without the autism.”

He had to agree.